oh my...

I've neglected my blog T_T

Mostly because I've been getting most of thoughts out in the journal my grandma got me... I carry it around with me, just write about random things that happen or I find interesting. Which I found makes my writing more detailed because I write when my thought is fresh and not something I look back at. So I'm just going to use my journal from now on. Although I'll still post things here, like pictures or videos. :)

these 3 words: “slut, whore, bitch”.

Especially when someone calls a girl either a “slut”, “whore”, or “bitch”, and I’ve been calling people out on it.

For example, a friend of my friend called a girl walking by hot and then said “she’s probably a slut”. My automatic response: “What the fuck. Why would you say that?” His dumbass response: “I don’t want to be mean, but look at the way she’s dress and that make-up!!”

As much as I wanted to punch him in the throat, I just went of on a rant.

WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT A GIRL WEARS ON HER FACE OR WEARS ONHER BODY?
You have no fucking right to judge her simply on what she’s wearing or how she wears her make up, especially calling her either a “slut” or “whore”.

This doesn’t just happen with guys, unfortunately girls also do this too.

But really it doesn’t even have to do with clothes and makeup on women, it could be other shit too. Like a girl can have multiple sexual partners, but then a man could have the same amount of partners and OH SHIT. IT’S SO TABOO THAT A GIRL CAN BE WITH SO MANY MEN. But that asshole whose had the same about of women doesn’t get shit about it?

Can people just stop? Seriously! Stop being assholes and just think for a minute. A girl can wear whatever she wants, put whatever she wants on her face and do whatever she wants. Don’t judge her and don’t call her anything because you can’t ASSUME anything and it’s not your life.

It’s nearly 2am, I’m cranky as fuck. I hate everyone.

n e w

journal my grandma got for me from Italy. 

new haircut~ 

Séisouso / Reveil (Quidam, Cirque Du Soleil)

Séisouso

Reveil

speechless. I need to see Cirque Du Soleil, I really do.

I guess I really am hopeless...

I don't mind if it's like this... I'm fine with it.

red tea + dark chocolate

mmm. Had a hard time focusing on my reading, so I took a break with a hot cup of red tea and a piece of chocolate. BEST EVER. And it helped! Got half way through a chapter, woo!

So far in my life there are only few men in my life that I can truly love, trust and count on. One of those men is my Dad. My dad is the strangest person I know, but is also one of the best people I know. There are times where I don't understand him or he doesn't understand me but he still tries to. He talks to me when something is bothering him, but also doesn't tell me things to protect me. Most of all he is always there for me no matter what. For that I give my Dad infinite thanks.

After my morning class, I felt some light cramps in my stomach and back. But once I got to my car, the cramps became more intense and very painful... (This happens to me most of the time, I'm usually prepared but I was caught off guard this time.) As I was driving, I kept telling myself that I could make it home, but at a certain point the pain made me dizzy and I felt like I was going to pass out. I pulled over, and decided to rest out the pain until it became tolerable. I laid in my car with a spare jacket over my stomach hoping the warmth would give some relief. About 15 minutes passed and the pain just got worse like it always does, the seats of my car curve to match a seated body so laying there wasn't helping much.

I called my dad, asking him to pick me up and from that he only asked where I was. I guess he could hear the agony in my voice even though I tried not making it seem like such a big deal. After that he found me in about 10 minutes and took me home.

I am grateful for my Dad being there for me. He's only seen me like this once before, because usually I'm prepared for it, but my body decided to leave me with no signs to prepare for.  If I didn't have my dad to count on, I probably would still been in my car waiting it out.

s i c k

I've been sick for the past FIVE days. Stayed home all weekend, which was the best, but still didn't recover much. Spent the weekend studying and reading, although on Sunday I had the sudden urge to go jogging which I did, then my lungs felt like they were on fire. I'm so out of shape! :D

I just realized I haven't posted anything in awhile! I've been pre-occupied with school, and nothing really to post about actually...

- - - - - -

I've been re-reading a lot of philosophical concepts lately, mostly from philosophers from the enlightenment because my history professor went over them lightly. The two main concepts I've been thinking about:

 (1) The Social Contract: Which is just the relationship between people and their government. This basically is a contract that contains the chaos of human societies, as believed strongly by Thomas Hobbes. The social contract is a "contract" of sorts that help guide human behaviors, it gives us rules to abide in order to maintain a civilized way of life. Without it, it is said we'd be in chaos, because humans cannot live in peace in our natural state. Thomas Hobbes believed this concept very strongly because he thought humans are the worst and that in the state of nature they would just kill each other off.
What I think is that the social contract is meant to support human morals. Especially in large societies there are more people, so since Hobbes believes that humans suck naturally, more humans together would be disastrous!  Hobbes talks about this and the state of nature in his book: The Leviathan. Which I'm picking up from the library tomorrow.  

(2) The State of Nature: Is the state of humans before the social contract. It is humans in our most base form, and according to Hobbes we are horrible in this form because we don't have anything to abide. But according to John Locke, humans are generally good and that the state of nature isn't bad at all. Locke only believe in the social contract if a human society grew larger, but even then, a minimal government with few rules would best suit. I'm also planning on reading Locke's essays on human nature. 

I've always been interested in these two concepts, especially interested in Hobbes and Locke's ideas  because their views were very different. Lately I've been thinking of the two concepts, wondering how society would be without the social contract.

But, the social contract would only work amongst society but then again, a form of government is established the moment you are born. That government is called: family. We have either a mom or dad, or both, older sister or brother and little sister or bother. Certain circumstances would prove differently, like a child thrown into the wilderness and forced to live by instinct which could be considered as the state of nature.

So what I believe is that the social contract works amongst people, not only a family even a group of people. The state of nature would apply to a single person.... In Locke's belief he believe humans were generally could and could survive without a government/sort of enforcement, which I believe to be true in certain cases. But it would be interested to see how the world would be without government, there would most certainly be chaos, especially if it occurred today. Or even a minimal government, how would that be?

Of course from this we could assume Locke is a libertarian, the Father of Liberalism actually. I'm not a libertarian, I'm not anything until I've gotten the time to figure everything out. Just curious about these two concepts, which is why I want to read more about them. It's obvious that what little I know about the two don't compared to what more there is, so once I've become more familiar I'm sure I'll have more thoughts on them.

Mr. Norrell

Um...

"What's up my filipino girl?" 

I found this to be very..... awkward? Is this considered flirting? Because, I literally cringed at this. Ok, I don't cringe at all advances directed toward me (which are rare), sometimes they're cute or confusing (mostly)... But this had no endearment or sweetness. It was just commenting on that I'm filipino, a girl and apparently in his mind, his? ("my" is a possessive/determining word, its notes belonging to a speaker)

It could be that I'm reading too much into this, because the fool did just ask "What's up?" But I've encountered so much ignorance from him, and I only hope that he'll redeem himself somehow... But my sarcasm doesn't seem to get through, so I'll just be blunt. What's wrong with saying: "What's up my friend?" I am his friend after all.

Ah. I need some tea now.

Slut Shaming is Wrong.

Out

Hung out with my very awesome friend Mariana, went to a thrift store and saw a lot of cool old stuff. Very interesting day! 

Drink the Sea

Awesome first week of school!

Just took a break from comparing notes to my professors lecture outline. Phew! 

I have a lot more notes to compare with the book, just a simpler way for me to get reading out of the way. 

ALL MY NOTES FROM THIS WEEK!! Only exception is Psychology, which is on the far right. We only did worksheets, and talked about how the class has nothing to do with psychology. 

A lot of exams/quizzes on the same days and back to back. -___- That'll be fun. 

OTL

Things I should be saving up for:

1. Camcorder
2. SLR Camera
3. New backpack

Things I end up spending my money on:

1. Food
2. Tea
3. Useless cute items 

Proust.

"We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it to the full." 

– Marcel Proust 

Pound Cake.

Just had some lemon raspberry pound cake with black tea~ An awesome combination!

These past few weeks have so busy, but most of all exhausting! To be honest, it's been a really good experience. I felt like I was going to regret taking two classes in a five week period, but I'm really glad that I did this. I've meet really determined people with really interesting goals in life and it's made me more committed to doing my absolute best.

I came to this reflection while eating that amazing pound cake, because normally I don't really like pound cake. I've always hated summer/winter classes, just because of the short time period and professors trying to cram in so much information. But I never realized that the students that decided to take winter or summer are really determined, and I'm so surprised at the differences in a regular semester than a five week session. I'm really going to miss having class with the people I've meet, hopefully I'll be able to keep in touch with them :)

Sometimes things that seem portentous, aren't so bad once experienced and understood.

TIME TO STUDY FOR THE NEXT 5 HOURS! YAY!

Headaches.

The Hours

Nocturne

Valentina Lisitsa is my favorite pianist! 

I haven't listened to her preform in awhile, I love how elegant she is.

- - -
edit: this is the first video I saw of her, and I adored her playing. 
To be honest, it was around the time when I trying to learn the piano properly again, and I think later on I just stopped learning...

face in the crowd

dime a day love

How can I rely on my heart if I break it with my own two hands?

- - -

I can't survive on a half-hearted love that will never be whole.

Assassin's Creed Revelations: Concept Art

Concept art by Gilles Beloeil

time flies